So I recently had to travel to Florida to pick up a few items. It’s a long drive and I had no plans on staying the night, so naturally, I didn’t want to do this drive alone. I invited Stephanie to join me and promised her I’d take her to the beach for a few hours before driving back home.
In truth, I tried to find someone else to travel with me, but it was extremely short notice. Why did I try to find someone else? Well, because I didn’t think that it would be that fun/interesting to take Stephanie; and unfortunately, I was right…
Now before you go on and say, “well, with that mentality, you didn’t even give her a chance”. Since you don’t know me on a personal level, this is a valid point to make. However, because I knew I was thinking this way, I made it a point to put those thoughts out of my mind and try to truly enjoy her company. And to be fair, I did enjoy the trip overall with her. She was great company, but she was lacking in one key area….
As I said up above, it was a long drive; so that means plenty of time to talk and get to know each other a bit more on a deeper level. Unfortunately, this is one of the main areas that Stephanie is lacking in. We did have a few conversations where she was engaged and had things to say, but those conversations were limited to her friends and what they do. And I don’t mean this in a negative way, she wasn’t gossiping. But the conversation was about how people handle and approach things in life.
However, when that conversation stopped, she didn’t have much else to say. I tried to bring up several other topics; things like current events, things I’m interested in, some past experiences I had, etc. And the most I could get out of her was a few sounds acknowledging that she was listening. Beyond that, she had nothing to say. Trust me when I tell you, I ran through a full gamut of topics. Nothing would stick.
Eventually, I tried to flip the script and on her. I asked her, when she’s not working or socializing, what does she spend her time doing and thinking about. Her answer, usually talking with people or watching tv. Pretty much a nonstarter. I asked what kinds of things she’s interested in. To my surprise, she said that she liked art. FINALLY! Something I can latch on to and have a conversation about…. Or so I thought.
I tried to probe deeper… what kind of art do you like? What draws you to art? What was your favorite piece you’ve come across and why? Etc. etc. All of this yielded a single piece of art that she had learned about years ago, and that was the extent of the conversation.
I was quietly disappointed. Stephanie wants more with me, she wants a relationship, etc. And in truth, I would be willing to give it to her if it weren’t for experiences like this that highlight a serious dearth of deep discussion.
Ironically, I just came across this article not too long ago. If it’s true, then, as I’ve already suspected, Stephanie and I wouldn’t last long if I decided to give us a shot.
What do you guys think? Am I asking/expecting too much here?