What am I talking about here? Well, the previous post got me thinking about other situations and it steered me to another revelation.
As a guy, I am very careful in the things I say to a woman simply because I am considering how my words are going to affect her. In truth, A LOT of guys do this and unfortunately, we often take it a bit too far.
Legit, this is a big reason why we lie. Contrary to popular belief, most of the time when we lie about something or withhold information, it’s not for selfish reasons. It’s quite the opposite really ladies: we lie or hold back because we don’t want to hurt your feelings. In other words ladies, we actually give a damn about how our words affect you. I’m sure, for many women reading this, they are going to disagree with me adamantly because, “if he truly cared about me, he would tell me the truth”. Yeahhhh, the real world is a bit more complex than that sweetie. Just because something is true doesn’t mean it needs to be said. Regardless of how much we tell ourselves that we want to know the truth, the reality is, there are some truths we’d rather not know. What’s more, there are also truths that do no benefit to anyone once revealed. But I digress… (and will definitely make this another post in the future, stay tuned).
Anyway, we guys will try to spare a woman’s feelings. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s best we speak up and deal with whatever comes. I’ve definitely gotten in trouble for not saying what should have been said sooner. So fellas, we need to step up in this area because often times, we know what we’re lying about or holding back needs to be said. She’s a big girl and whatever happens, she’ll bounce back.
Now, on to the flipside. Hello, Ladies! In my experience, women have little problem in revealing their truths, even if it’s at the detriment of whoever’s hearing it. Let me just give an example to drive my point home, because I can already hear the women mounting up their counterarguments.
This is a situation that happened with at least three of my exes. This was towards the end of the relationship in all cases and they all showed their true nature. Things had deteriorated badly and we were arguing nearly everyday over the same shit. In most of these situations, I’m on the defensive. I’m trying to solve the problem and respond to the things being said. In all three cases, the ladies were saying really unnecessary, hurtful things. If you listened to these women, you’d swear I was the devil incarnate and killed puppies for sport. Clearly, I did something wrong right? Clearly they’re upset about something. They must be completely justified in how they’re feeling. FALSE. Let me go ahead lay those ideas to rest.
I broke up with every single one of them. Let me write that again… I’m the one who ended the relationship in all three cases.
And you know what happened? In every single instance, the moment I said I was done, all three calmed the fuck down and starting speaking to me like a mature adult. All of them became reasonable and suddenly, willing to listen and learn where I was coming from. Before I ended it, I was attacked, had my character insulted, and to be completely open and honest, had my feelings pretty much shat on (I loved these women, so their words cut deep). After I ended it, they all apologized and admitted that they were out of line for their words and behavior. But at that point, it didn’t matter… I was done.
These women felt that they could say whatever they wanted, however they wanted without consequence. One of them even went as far as to say that I was weak, sensitive, and that there was something wrong with me for having a problem with what she said and how she spoke to me. She sang a very different tune after I ended the relationship
So what’s my point?
Fellas, we need stop holding back what truly needs to be said. And we know what needs to be said.
Ladies, you need to filter your words and ask yourself: Is this necessary? Is this helpful?
If the answer isn’t yes to at least one, it doesn’t need to be said.
Help spread the word by sharing with your friends and on social media! Shout outs for those who spread the word!
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