This is an interesting topic that I’ve heard many differing opinions on. How many of you have heard one of these phrases or some combination of them:
- I only date guys taller than 6′
- I only date guys with a beard
- I only date light/dark skinned men or women
- I only date women natural/straight/curly hair
- I only date women with a fat ass
- I only date slim/slender women
- I only date men/women with light/dark eyes
Notice how the majority of those only apply to women. We guys have serious strict physical standards when it comes to the women we date. I’m not going to lie, I’m no different. I can not date a woman who is not in shape or does not have a nice body. The truth is, I don’t find overweight or out of shape women attractive. What’s more, I’ve been with a few bigger women in the past and I can honestly say, I did not enjoy the way their bodies felt; so simply turning the lights off wasn’t enough.
Now as I’ve stated in my introduction, I’m 5′ 10″, so I don’t meet the 6′ qualification that many women have. I’d be lying if I said that this didn’t bother me sometimes; namely when the woman I was trying to holla at was fine as fuck. But over time, I’ve come to accept it. I mean is it really different from a man saying she has to have a fat ass? In my case (i.e. body type), it is different. Why? Because people have control of the condition of their bodies. If you’re overweight, that’s because of you and how you take care (or don’t) of yourself. Yes, yes, genetics play a role, but more important are a person’s lifestyle choices.
Why do I bring that up? Because everything else on the list above are things people have no control over. My height wasn’t up to me, neither was my skin tone, nor my hair texture. Same applies to women. A woman doesn’t get to decide her skin color, hair texture, or the size of her ass.
With all this being said, it begs the question, what’s the difference in having a preference for a hair texture, skin tone, height, physique, etc.? Now, 2 of these items are hot topics: skin tone and hair. Many women of color will tell you that they attract different types of men based on the style of hair they’re wearing. I don’t know how valid this is, as I personally don’t care as long as the entire package looks good… but I digress.
But skin tone… oowee, skin tone. Granted, I tend to hear women of color complain about men preferring particularly light skinned women over dark skinned; however, I have definitely heard women also say they only date light or dark skin. Look, I’m not even going to get into the deeper historical societal influence skin tone plays in our society. There are doctoral theses written about this.
However, to play devil’s advocate just for a quick second. If you were able to remove the historical context and influence, is having a skin tone preference any different than having a height preference? They are both physical features that no one can decide upon for themselves. Of course, the real world is well… the real world. But it’s still something worth thinking about. (And for the record, if you check my preferences, I don’t have a skin tone preference).
What makes one physical preference more acceptable than another? Depending on who you ask, it is either acceptable and unacceptable to demand a man be 6′ or a woman to be slim and fit.
Honestly, if a person has a strict requirement for a physical feature you don’t possess, just let it go and move on. They’re not worth your time anyway (this includes me as well). Go where you’re wanted and adored.
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