This one is for everyone reading this. We all want to be uplifted and supported by our partners, but on the flipside of that, we have to be uplifting and supporting.
Think about it, we’ve all experienced what it feels like not to be supported. Whether it’s from our parents, our siblings, close friends, colleagues, etc. We’re working on something, something we’re really into and we try to share it with someone and they’re just like “meh, whatever”. That shit sucks, no matter how you slice it. Now I’m willing to bet everyone reading this is probably thinking of an instance or two where this has happened to them. But on the other side of that, how many of us can think of times where we’ve done the exact same thing to someone else? Chances are, we can’t because we don’t even notice when we do it. This is why it’s so important to pay close attention to the things the people you care about are trying to share with you.
Let me speak on a time that comes to mind. A while back, I was telling my then girlfriend about a book I had just finished that I was really excited about. It was a scifi book and it was unlike any other scifi story I had ever encountered before. As I told her about the book and explained why I enjoyed it so much, what made it so different, etc., her body language screamed that she was just waiting for me to shut up. She gave absolutely no fucks about what I was saying. When I called her out on it, she basically explained that she wasn’t into scifi at all and that she had no interest in what I was talking about. I went on to basically say, “ok I understand that you’re not personally interested in it, but I’m interested in it and I wanted to share it with you.” She still gave no fucks.
Now some of you might be saying, “Well she’s not interested, this has nothing to do with being supportive”. And this response is exactly why I brought up this example. Support goes beyond simply supporting your partner’s endeavors, ambitions, etc. It also extends to even small things, like sharing your excitement about a book. Think about something small but still made you excited. Let’s say you found something on sale that you’ve had your eye on a for a while. There’s only one left though and you see someone pick it up. Then suddenly, that person gets distracted by their phone, puts it down, and walks away. Naturally, you quickly run and pick it up. You happily strut over to the cashier and claim your victory. Is this a big deal? Is this going to be something you remember for the rest of your life? Probably not. But nonetheless, you’re happy about it and you want to share it with the most important person in your life. You come home, you tell your partner the story and then… they give no fucks. Chances are, you’re going to be a bit deflated and down about their response.
And this is what we do to each other. Unless we are personally interested in something, we don’t care about what another person is trying to share with us. I’ll be blunt here… this is selfish as fuck. But we all have done it. When someone wants to share something of theirs with us, it’s not about us or what we’re interested in. No, it’s about them and them sharing a part of them with us. Let them have their moment. Let them be excited and beam with joy at the pointless shirt they bought or the insignificant triumph they had, etc. Let them have it, be present, share and support their excitement. So when your partner is playing video games and struggling to beat a boss or a team, sit next to them and cheer them on. Join them in their struggle, even though you have no interest in video games.
Moments like these are what bring us together.
It’s the small things that we are able to share that bring us close.
And I want you to think about what happens when we don’t support each other even in the smallest of ways. Your partner tries to share all these moments with you and unless you’re personally interested in the subject matter, you’re blase about all of it. What do you think is going to happen over time? They’re going to start sharing with you less and less, and possibly, start sharing those moments with someone else. This definitely happened in some of my past relationships. The less they cared about the things I wanted the share, the less I told them, the more we grew apart, and in some cases I found someone else who did care.
Obviously, you also need to support your partner if they’re trying to start a business, lose weight, get a promotion, do better in any area of their life, etc. If you see them make an improvement, acknowledge that shit and praise them for it (adulation goes a long way). But don’t forget the small stuff. They are just as important, but the small stuff happens far more often than the big.
No matter how small it is, cheer on your partner. Share their joy and support them in the way you want to be supported!
Help spread the word by sharing with your friends and on social media! Shout outs for those who spread the word!
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