Right in line with my last post, I ended things with another woman (and I have one more to write about as well).
So a few weeks ago, I wrote about this woman I had been seeing for a while. As I stated in my post, I knew that I shouldn’t be entertaining her, despite her words. Well, a few weeks ago, I flew someone in to town that I had been talking to for a while. Naturally, when she came into town, she got all of my attention. Mary wanted to spend a little time with me and of course, I was unavailable. After the weekend trip was over, I hit Mary back up just to touch bases. This did not go over well.
She asked me why I wasn’t available and I told her the truth of the situation. She actually accused me of doing and telling her things specifically to hurt her. Now, I’m going to be 100% here (as I will never tell a person this), but when she said this, my immediate reaction was, “don’t be so vain”. Like, I’m really going to go out of my way to hurt someone? It definitely annoyed me, especially since (if you read my other post) I made it clear that there was no future and she claimed she was ok with being friends. But, the moment she became aware that I was out here trying to live my best life without her, suddenly, I’m intentionally trying to hurt her. She was clearly very upset and revealed that it was clear to her that I was never going to see her in a romantic sense (umm yeah, I said this to you before).
In any case, it was obviously clear that it would be impossible to maintain a relationship with this woman that was not romantic. I ended up breaking the relationship off completely, nothing platonic, no friends with benefits, nothing. And here’s the kicker, she says to me, “I hope these new women in your life are worth our friendship”. (eye roll) In my mind: “Look, this wasn’t a friendship. This was an attempt by you to ‘wait me out’ and hope I realized ‘what I had’ and come around.”
People… Don’t do this.
This post may sound harsh and cold, but honestly, it needs to be. Look…
When someone tells you NO, accept that shit and MOVE THE FUCK ON
You are quite literally setting yourself up for pain and disappointment otherwise. In this case, I specifically told her I wasn’t interested romantically. I suggested that we part ways and she insisted that we remained friends (with benefits no less). I was cool with this because I had made my intentions clear and she (seemed to) fully understand and acknowledge them. And yet, despite having this conversation (on more than one occasion mind you), she was still holding out hope that I would see her differently. And still somehow, I’m the asshole for hurting her.
I admit, I should have broken things off before, not because I am fault, but because I might have been able to prevent this. But ultimately, I am not at fault for her getting hurt. I am not responsible for her feelings, especially since I did my part and told her there was no future between us. You can argue that I kept letting her come around, but what am I supposed to do if she says she’s good with being friends and that she “doesn’t even want a guy like me” (her words)?
Look, I’m sorry she got hurt and I genuinely hope she finds what she’s looking for. Let this be a lesson for all of us, when someone says ‘no’, accept it and move on.
Help spread the word by sharing with your friends and on social media! Shout outs for those who spread the word!
Got something to say? Leave a comment below! I will reply!