Once again, another form of personal torture that we put ourselves through. Although it took me far longer than it should have, I finally broke things off with Stephanie. Things came to a head for me when she came over not too long ago.
I had been out in the city and she hit me up (drunk mind you) asking if she could come over and if I wanted to fuck. She was a bit over the top but I hadn’t seen her in a while and obliged. She was really excited to see me and I legit was looking forward to seeing her. When she got to my place, that excitement she had was non-existent. I tried to do something besides our usual watch something, fuck, and go to sleep. I offered to play card games, board games, video games, just sit and talk, wrestle, etc. I listed many options and to each one, she literally just shrugged her shoulders, never saying a word. When I tried to show her some affection, she didn’t respond. She pretty much completely shut down. This was not the first time she’s done this but I decided that it would be the last.
The following days, we spoke about it and I expressed to her that it wasn’t working for me. I told her that I am ready to start the next chapter of my life and that despite us having been dating for several months, I didn’t feel I was any closer to her than I was when we first met. I told her, that we weren’t moving forward and I was doing everything in my power to connect with her. My patience had run out and I wanted to move on.
And you know what happened? She started speaking up. She started expressing herself. She started being present and putting forth effort to connect, show interest, and reveal who she was. Unfortunately, I was done and had no interest, but it begs the question…
Why do we wait until we’re about to lose someone we care about to finally get our shit together?
For days (until she finally gave up), she tried reaching out and asking me what’s going on in my life, the progress I’ve made on my goals, etc. Basically, all the shit she should have been doing. She complained that I wasn’t giving her a chance. Have you ever heard this before? It’s a common question apparently, because she and many of my exes have said the exact same thing after I broke up with them. Here’s what I say to them…
You’ve had multiple chances since the moment I first brought all of this up!
I swear, people are shocked when someone breaks up with them as if they couldn’t see it coming. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve told an ex, “I’ve been telling you this shit for months and NOW you listen to it after I’m walking away?”. But somehow, I’m not being fair and robbing them an opportunity to do what was consistently asked for.
My closest friends have told me that I stay in relationships way too long. And they are 100% right. I give way too many second chances and hope that “eventually they’ll get it”. I go months hoping things change but they don’t. And the reason why I bring this up is because it’s not like I tell these women once and if it doesn’t change in a week, I’m out. No, I let shit slide for months before finally throwing in the towel. And in truth? This is why I don’t give them a chance to fix things after I’ve ended it.
Because it shouldn’t take things getting to point of ending the relationship to finally make a change.
Seriously, I wish Stephanie all the best. She is a wonderful woman and I hope she continues to evolve, learn, and eventually find happiness.
Help spread the word by sharing with your friends and on social media! Shout outs for those who spread the word!
Got something to say? Leave a comment below! I will reply!